How has your wellbeing journey looked like in the past?
Do you fluctuate between these scenarios….
These 2 scenarios are at the extreme ends of the scale but there is an underlying emotion behind both thoughts and behaviours and it’s probably hidden away deep in the subconscious...
It’s the belief that you are not good enough and hold on to the belief that you’ll love yourself when you lose weight or you’ll be more accepted and loved by others BUT that feeling never comes even when you meet that goal-you’ll just find something else to pick at. Have you ever used those words – I’ll be happy when…
Observing and becoming aware of these underlying beliefs will be the determining factor in putting those old unhelpful habits behind you and developing healthy habits that will last.
So you may feel like you’ve been up and down on your journey when it comes to looking after yourself and you may have tried so many different way to make change, to stop obsessing, to stop this cycle of restriction and then give in to the overconsuming effort you find yourself in as it’s not sustainable. That’s ok to be where you are and you’re not alone in these feelings, thoughts and patterns.
We love to hunt down for quick fixes because we want to escape these uncomfortable feelings we are having, feelings of discomfort and feelings of not liking ourselves or feelings that we are not lovable. The amount of times I have had new clients approach me with wanting a quick fix. In time, without saying anything, they begin to realise it’s a lifestyle, a way of life, not a new trendy diet. Wouldn’t we’d like to reach a goal that takes longer to achieve, that develops long term healthy habits to maintain our goal and we learn from the ups and downs as we move forward rather than putting a plaster on what’s going on inside and repeating the destructive cycle.
It’s so uncomfortable sitting with these emotions but it’s even more uncomfortable not doing anything about it.
Here's a few helpful ways to start breaking that cycle.....
Try a different Mindset
Instead of trying a new diet, how about trying on a different mindset? Approach your health and wellbeing from a place of love. Love for yourself, love for your body and the amazing thing it is, with thousands of biochemical reactions going on without even telling it to do it. Choose to fuel your body as it makes you feel good inside or say no to that tub of ice cream because it’s not going to be great for your energy levels even though it may taste nice. You’re coming from a place of love and respect for your body, not a place of fear and feeling you’ll be out of control if you eat that ice cream. I’m going to go for a walk outside in nature because I’m going to feel so energised after instead of telling yourself you have to get the walk in otherwise it will mean you’ve missed a session and this new healthy lifestyle isn’t working and your mind can feed you with all sorts of negative chatter about how you’re not got enough.
A huge reason healthy habits can drop off the radar is that we are trying to be too strict with ourselves and our mind tells us the journey has to be perfect! But life is not perfect, situations out of our control can appear in our life and we haven’t had time to do that workout or food prep. If you grasp so tightly to that perfect picture and make it unrealistic, you’re motivation will plummet when you hit your early hurdles. It’s what you do most of the time that is important not what you do every so often. If you nourish your body regularly – a treat is not going to affect your body in the same way as it would if you ate that way all the time. Sometimes, there’s nothing better than a glass of wine with a friend or a catch up over a take away.
Sit With Your Emotions
Instead of masking those feelings when they prop up, don’t ignore or distract them with food or making yourself as busy as you can or trying to create control to help you feel comfortable with these negative emotions. These emotions will pass and the more you get used to being with them and working through them, the easier it will become. If you distract yourself from them, the louder they become. Mindfulness is a great way to notice these emotions!
Observe your self-talk.
How are you talking to yourself daily? Are you coming from a place of self-love or fear? You are loveable just the way you are and the weight loss will not change that. Telling yourself you are wanting to make the changes because you love and respect your wellbeing and how it effects the way you interact will life. Observe when the negative chatter is coming up and you can even laugh at it – It’s only your mind is trying to stop change as it hates it. Let your first step be just observing it and when you feel ready you can rephrase it or tell it you’re not listening. It’s only a fear based voice, not actual reality.
Well I could actually go on and on about this topic so I will just leave you with one final and really important point…..
Your wellbeing is a journey, a way of life, a way of learning and discovering new things about yourself and growing. This journey should be enjoyable and feel uncomfortable in a good way as you grow. Stop the torture and punishment and know you are worth it just the way you are!